Deep listening and great conversations
I think you need a hearing test.
Why the heck do I need a hairy chest?
One of the things I liked the most about the lockdown period was the level of the conversation I had with my family and friends. Yes, I couldn’t see them or have a coffee with a friend although what I did have was a lot more deep and meaningful conversations.
And how good a great conversation can be!
Now we are getting out again and going back to our busy lives and this is the stage to continue to build these deep connections.
When you spend a period with your loved ones and when you catch up with friends, this is the time to look at how you engage with people and how you are taking part in the conversation.
Celeste Headlee has some really great strategies to improve your conversational skills so you can have really good conversations:
1. Don’t multi-task – BE PRESENT and at that moment.
2. Enter every conversation you have something to learn. Don’t state your opinions in a pompous and dogmatic way – if you want to do this, write a blog.
3. Use open-ended questions: What, where or how? What did you think about …?
4. You cannot be fully listening if you are thinking about your own stories you want to share. When these thoughts come into your mind, let them go and focus on what the other person is sharing!
5. If you don’t know, say you don’t know.
6. Don’t equate your experience to theirs. All experiences are individual, and this moment is not about you.
7. Don’t repeat yourself.
8. Stay out of details; people care about you and your thoughts, not the dates and particulars.
9. Listen - the most important skill. It takes effort and energy to listen to someone although if you can’t listen, then you are just two people saying barely related sentences to each other!
10. A good conversation is like a miniskirt: Short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
Let me know how your conversation goes.
And come and talk to me if you want to work on this or something else.