NLP for Creating Change and Answer Burning Questions

Change using NLP

NLP is a revolutionary field of study which explains how our minds work and how we can change or improve patterns of behaviour, thoughts and beliefs that hold us back from living connected positive lives. NLP is known as the science of excellence because it is used to understand what works.

NLP is a discipline which explains how our mind works; it teaches us how we can choose to change our behaviours, beliefs and thoughts to enrich our lives by letting us get out of our own way.

The education of NLP are mechanisms for excellence. It is a science founded on what works an is capable of creating instantaneous change.

NLP translates to

Neuro: How we think and how the mind interacts with the body.

Linguistics: How we use language consciously and subconsciously to create our reality and communicate.

Programming: How we create habits and patterns of behaviour with our thoughts. Through knowing this can create change.


Neuro-Linguistic Programming was specifically created to allow us to do magic by creating new ways of understanding how verbal and non-verbal communication affect the human brain. As such, it offers us all with the opportunity to communicate better with others and learn how to gain more control over what we considered to be automatic functions of our own neurology.

NLP allows us to find the answers to many burning questions, such as:-

  • How can I become more successful?
  • Why am I not improving?
  • How can I achieve everything I want in my day?
  • Why am I not where I want to be?
  • How can I move on from adverse events in my life?
  • How do I change lifetime habits?
  • How can I better deal with stress?
  • How to not keep making the same unhelpful patterns?
  • How can I become more confident?
  • How can I feel relaxed more often?
  • How not to be scared/anxious/unhappy?

NLP gives us answers AND is also teaches us the right questions to be asking so that you feel, think and act the way you choose.

NLP is beneficial in all fields of personal life, business, education, sport and health. It is used widely in companies such as Toyota, Merck, Salesforce, Oracle, General Motors, Goldman Sachs in the USA to name a few.  It has been applied to the individuals with a few examples like Bill Clinton, Justin Tuck, Wayne Gretzky, Serena Williams, Hugh Jackman and Kiwi Steve Gurney.

Your resourceful mind is full of potential which can be programmed towards achieving what you want. It is the key to providing a framework for those resources and putting them to work on what you want to happen.

The Study of Excellence

NLP can be described as the study of excellence. We all know excellence does not just happen. Excellence is obtained by consistently implementing a series of thoughts and behaviours.

NLP provides thoughts and behaviours strategies to ensure you can achieve excellence in any area of your life. The processes taught were designed through the study of excellence in the fields of therapy and personal change. The models have been produced studying healthy successful people unlike areas of traditional psychology and counselling who based their doctrines on the results of reviewing people suffering from mental and emotional ill-health.

The desire of an NLP practitioner is like any other coaching or therapy professional, to help the client improve their life. However, NLP techniques offer a simple and relatively fast solution to remove unhealthy beliefs and emotions so that you can begin accomplishing what you want now. The emphasis of NLP is always on the positive outcomes creating a state of conducive to your wellbeing.

"This skill is valuable in any area of life but is especially valuable for those involved in sales or marketing. Because one of its main focuses is on communication, training, in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP, is something that can help marketers increase their level of rapport with their customers. By studying NLP, you can learn ' principles that turn you into a more powerful, confident and flexible communicator." Forbes 2018

"NLP may be the most powerful vehicle for change in existence.

                                                      Modern Psychology


Presuppositions of NLP

NLP was primarily developed through practical experience rather than theories by studying healthy, successful people. There is a range of ideas that are ‘pre-supposed’ or assumed within NLP referred to as the Presuppositions of NLP.

Below are many of those presuppositions and potential ways to interpret them in relation to personal change. These presuppositions are misinterpreted at times, but they do offer useful insights into the foundations of NLP and practical guidelines for creating positive change.

1.  The map is not the territory – each person is unique

We each live from our own understanding of reality or map, not reality itself. Our map (our views, opinions and perceptions) are not depicting the territory (reality). This is because only we are aware of our version of the complete story or truth, as our minds adapt to what happens through the filters of prejudices and memories that are part of us. The lenses in which we view life can be changed, and we often do it depending on who and what is happening around us. NLP is about understanding this phenomenon and teaching you how to apply the lens that will make you achieve the most territory. 

What you say is true. And the trick is, what they say they believe is also is true. It is not a single truth, but a multiple truth!

2.  If what you're doing isn't working, do something else.

If you continue doing what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always got.

If you tried a key in the lock and it didn't open the door, then what would you do? Would you keep using the same key in that lock over and over again hoping that eventually, it would open the door?

You can make changes that will give you more choices and which will have a ripple effect of creating more things that work in your life.  

3. Behind every behaviour is a positive intention

People behave by their interests, beliefs and values; sometimes these behaviours don’t yield positive results, although the aim at a fundamental level has a constructive purpose for that individual. NLP provides insights into what that positive intention may be and will be able to help you to develop more appropriate means to achieve your desired outcome.

An example would be if you smoke, and you want to quit, you need to understand the positive intention behind your smoking. Maybe you smoke because it helps you to unwind under pressure. If you quit, the positive intention is still there, but there’s no way to fulfil it, which makes it more likely you’d go back to smoking.

Although if you recognise your positive intention for smoking, and find other ways that are just as effective to help you relax under pressure, it’s easier to quit.

4. There is no such thing as failure, only learning.

The most empowering realisation we can make is that failure is a prerequisite of success. This psychological shift will cause you to begin to seek out failure and is the key to unlocking your growth potential.

“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field”. 

-Niels Bohr

5. The mind and body are parts of the same system

The mind and body are not separate entities, yet we often act as if they are. When we think differently, our bodies do change. Medical practitioners have known for centuries the power of our thoughts influence our bodies.  The effects of placebo are robust and well documented. The other directional relationship is more easily recognised.  Through body language, we often detect troubled minds, and physical activity is now prescribed by physicians as a remedy to mental turmoil.

Modern science has long been able to examine the direct connection between these two elements. The introduction of neuroimaging has allowed us to see that the stimuli induced by movement and posture are inescapable. 

 Think of something hilariously funny, and you begin to laugh and maybe can’t stop your own self-laughing. 

Recall a loved one whose death is a sad loss to you probably fills your eyes with sudden tears. 

Each time something causes you to remember or think of a very fearful experience, you may start to feel your heart pounding and for some, even sweating. These are examples of the powerful influence your mind has over your body.

6. Change makes change

NLP acknowledges that changing our behaviour, in the long run, affects all the people we encounter in our lives. It is as simple as the ripple effect of a pebble thrown into a pond - while it may seem small, the ripple effects of little things is extraordinary. Therefore changing behaviour creates the ripple for change.

An experiment was conducted to demonstrate the truth of this statement. People were brought into an empty room and made to be seated in groups of three so that each person was facing the other two in the group. There was no verbal communication among members of the group, nor did anyone move around. In every trial, it was observed that it took no more than two minutes for the person with the strongest emotion in the group to induce the same sentiment (whether positive or negative) in the other two people within the group.

7. The individual with the highest amount of flexibility of behaviour will have the most influence on the system.

This is the law of requisite variety from systems theory. That means that the more choices you have, the more freedom you will feel and the better the quality of life you can have.

In many cases, getting stuck indicates a lack of flexibility. Perhaps we don’t see alternatives or are too rigid to apply them. People who are flexible can adapt to changing circumstances, keep moving forward and more likely to get their outcome.

8. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have available

The individual will make the best decision they can at the time. The individual was constrained by their understandings at that moment.   NLP helps us create more effective choices which will give us more resources available with ongoing situations.

An example is a state/headspace in which an individual exhibits. At times, a person may be in a very resourceful state where they can tap into things in a substantially more effective way than other instances when an individual may be in an unresourceful mindset.

9. Communication is the response you get

Questions are more important than answers. Answers are only valuable if they are interpreted correctly. This can only be achieved if the message is communicated clearly in a median the other person understands.

Often we think that if someone misunderstands us, there is something wrong with them!  An effective communicator can share their message or outcome with the other person successfully to get the desired response.

10. People have all the resources they need

We each have the resources inside ourselves that we need to grow and change. NLP teaches us how to access and use these resources in appropriate ways.

The thing is, no matter what limitations of wealth, gender, class or disability you care to name, you will find someone who has exceeded them. Examples like– JK Rowling moving from single mother on benefits to multi-millionaire best-selling author within five years.  Nelson Mandela was coming back from 18 years hard labour on Robben Island and a total of 27 years in prison to become president of South Africa and guide the country peacefully through the transition from white minority rule. Helen Keller left deaf and blind by an illness she contracted at 19 months old, who went on to become the author of 12 published books. She was the first deaf/blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree, and one of the most admired people of the 20th Century.”

11. If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it

Success can be obtained by modelling the thoughts and behaviours of the successful.

Any skill, talent or ability that an individual has can be broken down into its components and taught to anyone who does not have severe physiological or neurological damage.  

12. We cannot not communicate

We communicate verbally by what we say or do not say, and with our body language which can often portray different messages. NLP helps us notice all communication and check for congruence from these messages.

We are always interacting through our language and subtle movements. Our inner thoughts also continually communicate with us, which is mirrored through our physiology to others. At all intervals of time, there exists a conscious or subconscious communication.

13. Anything can be accomplished when the task is broken down into small enough chunks.

Sometimes a task seems so complicated that it overwhelms us. We get the sense that we don’t know where to begin and therefore don’t. When we recognise that within any one task is a subset of smaller functions, and there are often subsets within that, the direction of the first step and after that soon becomes visible.

How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.

14. Being at cause

NLP believes that each person can have the cause and effect to choose to be in control of their reactions, their inner states and emotions. Therefore you can indeed want to be or not to be.

We are what we are today as a consequence of the thoughts, the instruction and the influence which we have been exposed to. It follows naturally then that by controlling thoughts, instruction and influence we can control what we become in the future.”

Paul J Meyer.

15. The Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction is a scientific principle much like the law of gravity. What we pay attention to determines what we experience. Once you understand the science behind it and combine it with tools and techniques of NLP, you can tap into the infinite potential and achieve even higher effectiveness in life.

At its simplest, the Law of Attraction states that what we think about, we manifest. Whether it’s a positive thought: something we want or are happy to have in our lives, or a negative view: something we dislike, something we’re afraid of, or something we don’t want in our lives, the Law of Attraction will bring more of that into our lives.



"Wisdom comes from experience, but experience is not enough.
Experience anticipated and experience revisited is the true source of wisdom."